Chavette

I just have to tell you about what happened to me today, as its just too funny not to.

 

I was on my way to work this morning, on the usual train, when I noticed this young chavette { a.k.a. - female chav ... loud, stupid, dripping with gold jewelry, tarty designer clothes, pink glittery cell phone, dodgy accent and brains at the bottom of her fake Armani handbag ! } talking on her mobile to her friend on the train.

 

She was nattering away, dawdling far too slow for her own good, and generally just making a bit of a nuisance of herself. It was at that moment that fate intervened and I saw a golden opportunity to have a little fun at her expense that was just too tempting to pass up.

 

To help set the scene, you have to know that we were travelling to London on one of the new fully electric trains which have two sets of sliding doors between each carriage. To open these doors you only have to press the button on the door from the old carriage and then step through where a motion sensor will pick you up and automatically opens the second  door, normally that is.

 

For these motion sensors are not always that sensitive and it can often take a bit of effort to get them to work. A sure way to make the second door NOT to open is if you are hesitant to step up to them, as their range is limited and they don't seem to pick you up on the other side of the first door.

 

From her conversation it was easy to guess that she had never been on an electric train before and seemed reluctant to risk getting stuck between the carriages. Thus, this is where I allowed a little devilment and wickedness to run through me and quickly hatched a devious plan which was sure to entertain me, even if only for a short time.

 

As I was sitting almost next to the door, I calmly got up from my seat, walked across and said to her that there was a card detection device on the other side of the door, and to go through you have to show your ticket to the sensor.

 

Then as if to demonstrate and prove my point, I got my own ticket out and waved it towards the motion sensor, which detected the movement, and opened the door. Naturally her only thanks was a quick ta, before walking on and through to the next carriage, fully believing my instructions.

 

With her now back on her way I returned to my seat, but I could not help but chuckle to myself at the thought of wondering how many times she will get her ticket out and wave it at the motion sensor thinking that that she has to do this before either she realises for herself or another passenger tells her the truth.

 

Once again proving that money, jewelry and a pretty face mean absolutely nothing in the survival stakes, and furthermore that when civilization suffers its inevitable collapse I already know who will be among its first casualties.