Britains Most Dangerous Driver

There is a guy I know, that I met and kinda befriended on the train about a year back. We don't meet up every day, but if we're ever on the same train we like to sit together and natter on the way home as it makes the journey seem to go quicker.

Anyways, we were sitting on the train yesterday and he was telling me, and another mate we know though the same journey, about last weekend.

Apparently there is this road that he drives down with his misses after picking up a Domino's pizza that is always empty. Absolutely always.

Now, because Domino's is a long way away from their place, they never wait until the get home before starting to eat their pizza's.

They don't pull over and find a quiet spot, they just get it out while driving and have a bit of a munch.

{ Are you following this so far? We got a guy and his girl driving down a so-called "empty road" eating pizza ! }

Now this last weekend as they are driving and eating they see this car in the distance come towards them on the other side of the road.

At this very un-fortuitous moment a stray piece of pizza flops out the box and lands at his feet.

Arghhh ... pizza on the floor ... yeuck.

So, after checking that the car is still a safe distance away { but still coming towards him }, he begins to climb out of his seat so that he can pick up the fallen pizza slice.

{ Yep, you read that correct }

The pizza is a bit sloppy and it takes him a fraction longer to pick it up that he first judged. Just at that second he looks up and sees that the car has now slowed down, indicated and is turning into a driveway in front of him, and thus if he doesn't do something quick he will smack into the car side on.

So, still partly out of his seat, he stamps down with his foot onto the break, only cos he was slightly askew he misses and instead actually catches the clutch.

Thus, now completely out of control, even after throwing the steering wheel round desperately, he can't help but plough into the car which is then shunted right through the owners garden hedge and topples the small partition wall between their place and their neighbours.

Realising his error he chucks all the remaining bits of pizza back into the box and gets out to apologise and exchange insurance details.

Both cars are a right off, so it's gonna cost him .. owwie.

As fortune would have it, the car that was immediately behind him, and had been forced to pull over, turned out to be a cop in an unmarked car, who then gets out and comes over to investigate.

Just as the cop is about to get all heated and start throwing his weight around the guy who got his car smacked into informs them that he is also a police officer, only off duty, and having heard my mates version of events { highly edited to omit any mention of a pizza, fallen or un-fallen, no doubt } he accepts that it is an accident and suggests that no legal proceedings really need to take place.

With this, the uniformed cop gives up and goes back into his car, { I'm betting secretly glad that he doesn't have to fill out any needless time wasting forms, sigh! }, and my mate managed to catch a cab home where he continues to suffers from shock all night long and can't keep anything down through vomiting.

HE SAYS ... that he is very lucky and glad that the guy he hit was so understanding.

I SAY ... that he is a complete dick and as this is not the first time that they have decided to scoff pizza in his car that he has been wrecklessly putting peoples lives at risk on a regular basis and should be banned from driving & fined at the very least.

Needless to say, we had a slight difference of opinion on this. But what really scares me the most is that some of the other train passengers actually tried to defend him saying things like, "yeah well I often talk to my phone while driving" or "I eat or drink while driving sometimes too" or worst of all "it's just unlucky what happened that's all ... could of happened to anyone"

If anyone ever wonders why I look both ways when crossing roads ... THAT'S why.

I'd rather seem paranoid to many than merely end up as another tragic casualty statistic caused by a growing lunatic fringe of society that think it's ok to drive a fast moving tonne of metal with little or no control and little or no concentration!