Mind in a Vortex

Either I'm a completely lunatic, an eccentric philosopher, someone adrift amid their very own mid life crisis, a hopeful dreamer or a time travelling enigma that's just itching to explode upon reality.

 

These days I find myself more and more confused, surrounded by people that have l have trouble relating to and both ignorant of what my future holds at the same time as being acutely aware of how fast time and the years are rushing past.

 

I am sure that there are countless millions of guys out there than in their childhood dreamt of becoming a James Digriz, Jack Killion, Indiana Jones, Jake Speed or Dirk Pitt.

 

A guy that is the typical troubled hero :- witty, clever, strong, rugged, handsome in a roguish sort of way, well travelled, unafraid to take risks, able to spot a trap a mile away, good reflexes, handy with a variety of weapons, has maybe just one or two super trusted and reliable friends, able to drive / pilot / ride almost anything, amassed many notches on the bedpost without securing Miss Right, cavalier, thrill seeking and with an unrelenting thirst for truth, justice and a super big payday.

 

And I am equally sure that less than 1% of them achieve a grown up personality or list of accomplishments anywhere like their fantasy idol.

 

Of the remaining 99% I would bet most either come to an premature end or reach maturity and find a mix of sport / tv / women / drugs / alcohol / work, enough to somehow get them so embroiled in the present that they forget that they ever wanted to be or do anything else.

 

But for me this hasn't happened. I maybe have the potential in me to do many great things, but for one reason or another I haven't { yet ! } but then neither has my life been overrun and dominated by anything  { or things } that makes me forget these childhood dreams.

 

Whether its a blessing or a curse, I seem to find far too much time able to sit and think about life, the universe and everything.

 

Even though there are many pulls on my life, none seem to occupy me for long enough or often enough to get a firm grip on my attention and hold it from wandering aimlessly, and so instead I think on my life, where it has been, where it is now and where it is likely to lead.

 

And what happens when I think about my life, I find it full of many interesting things in the past, but a fairly boring present and an immediate future that still seems to be just a bit on the sad and lonely side, no matter how I try to weight the dice in my favour.

 

And what do I do when my mind falls into a bored and frustrated funk?

 

I look back over emails of my past, I plan with friends both old and new about going on holidays to wild and far flung places { in search of adventure, even if I have to create it myself } and I remember gladly that in 30 years my mortgage will be paid off AND not to mention that as I've already been throwing a hefty chunk of money each month into my pension pot for the last 8 years of so, my retirement should not be dull through lack of available funds.

 

But is that enough to satisfy the restless adventuring spirit in me, not by a long shot. Even before the bedsheets grow cold from the last romantic interlude I am already deciding who I should really be trying to date, the holidays I take are always too short and too far into the future, and my pension seems a waste of current available funds if I am to end up with no partner to enjoy it with and no children to lavish all of my affection and hard earned wisdom upon.

 

So what is the answer? ... Well if you know, then PLEASE drop me a comment and maybe you can save me before I embark upon my next mad capped adventure far from home in search of anything to appease my overactive imagination.

Rules of Engagement

I have had it mentioned that this trip to Bogota so far has not been the most successful or action packed of adventures, and while this will have pleased mum and a few others back home who still call me crazy for coming here in the first place, its with equal doses of a few emotions that I agree.

The things that I generally do on holiday are not every ones cup of tea, and if everyone thought the same way then life would be boring, but to me they often bring a little form and structure to judge between places.

Firstly when I visit a place I want to know someone there, so that we can go around and do the local scene and not just the tourist areas. Having been given warnings of "don't stray from the hotel" being issued for just about every city outside of the Medway towns that I visit, its harder to do this and get the full measure of a place.

Likewise everywhere has its own charms, its own kinks and comparing two places often seems like comparing a fruit to a vegetable - similar but just not on the same level. So whenever I go anywhere I try to do lots of stuff, see many of the sights, meet the people, but also to do a few things the same everywhere and thus have a yard stick of comparison.

Thimbles, keyrings, postcards, McDonald's, hand fan, Internet cafes, litter, architecture, hotel room information leaflets, traffic, language - a whole host of seemingly random things but in my mind they help put things in perspective and its why I shy away from the "all-inclusive" deals that seem so sterile of originality that they may as well be in another town in the UK - just a bit hotter, or nearer to a beach of whatever.

I think this was one of my long ago ex's fault, as even after we parted company and stayed friends she encouraged me to just go to somewhere that you have never been to before and just see what happens.

Now as Ive done that a few times and been bored shit-less, these days I do try and fill my time a little better, plan it more, have a few backups in case my plan A goes awry { and for some strange reason don't they always!! }, and even then I'm not immune to a few last minute hiccups.

Next stop, the America's.

There is always a little bit of nervousness when i embark on my next crazy misadventure, and this one is no exception.

It did not help that today was also almost the day when we made our receptionist at work redundant, which didn't really help the mood of the atmosphere in the company.

What made it even worse is no one except me and Amy going to her leaving lunch, few people chipping in for her leaving card or present and everyone shooting out to go to their own secret lunch that started at 12.30 and didn't come back, not that they told me that until I realised at 5.15.

Some people have no people skills and it shows.

My anger at the injustice of it all was too much for me and so I just grabbed my bag and walked out at that point, without even saying goodbye to my boss, not that in her frazzled state she would have noticed anything amiss.

Getting to Gatwick was a bit of a struggle as I always seem to end up stuck in the slow moving queue of mental inadequates who are unable to decide where they want to go, when they plan on coming back ( if at all ) and how they want to pay.

When the queue next to you goes down faster than a zip line and you think your growing roots is never a good sign when you know that your bushed tired and a hotel room is still an agonising hour away.

Once I got to the airport finding my way out and into the open air was just as much of a task, and i followed the signs to the "hotels" only to find that unless you break down a emergency door you cant get out that way, and had to double back and find the arrivals lounge and go from there.

Once across a longish road I was there all safe and sound and able to make my way to my room, at last... where i jumped in the showed before bed only for mum to call the second i turn the hot water on.

Life eh .... who knows WHAT will happen next.

But, apart from a short stop over to change planes in Atlanta, I will be in Bogota before my head hits the pillow for a second time.

The latest wacky day

A day to beat all crazy days.

There is no denying that my life is mixed up, and that most of this is my fault either through action or inaction to some degree or other.

But if, even just a few months back, anyone would have told me what today would entail I would have been silently signalling for the men in white coats to come and take them away.

Today started off with me putting a few last minute adjustments to assisting my friend with his overdue tax refund.

Then I took a trip to work, via the wrong train station and bought my ticket, whilst waiting in line for a blue eyes and grey haired silver tongued devil to get his ticket and flirt outrageously with his much younger and prettier assistant at the same time.

The once I got to work I had go into a meeting with my pension adviser who informed me that unless I invest over £400K in the next 35 years I cannot retire early on anything less than a measly £12K per year annuity. He also suggested that if I didn't have kids now I would never be able to afford early retirement.

Then I processed an automated cheque run at work for people who wont sign any cheque in less than 36 hours notice unless its made out to them personally ( and if i try to hide their cheque at the bottom of a pile they will take the time out to look for it instead of just sign the entire stack !).

After that I took out my pretty young Colombian receptionist for perhaps the last time while we work together, as she is being made Redundant on Friday, and tried to arrange with her if I could go and visit her family while I am in her home country next week.

Followed by a few hours of mind numbing boredom in the office cellar dead archiving old files that are not even that old and thus cant be send off for at least the next 8 months.

After work I took a tube to meet me brother in law at a tube stop that neither of us had ever been to before, and its here where my day started to get really interesting.

We stopped off at a pub for a swift drink while he explained that he was in yet another deeply back funk and I reminded him that is he was going to even attempt to pass any blame at my sister or their three children that he should just jolly well stop right there.

Moving swiftly on we then set about making semi-funny comments about sharing a drink in a back alley London pub opposite a defunct horse hospital whilst waiting for an amateur film festival from a group calling themselves the Blow Back and Rainfall. As you can image there were a few slurred references to "London blow job and golder shower animal farm porno movies" that on reflection are best left to the imagination of the individual reader.

The next few hours were spent waiting patiently in an ever filling miniature renovated film stage whilst the organisers painfully and repeatedly tried to get a projector image of size X onto a blank canvass backdrop of only size Y, where X would only ever be smaller than Y if you reduced the image down to the size of a postage stamp.

The perk of this place was that once a month you get to watch a few amateur film clips in a cosy, if still bizarrely located and still horse smelling ( is it every possible to fully eradicate the smell of horse manure from a stable ? ) moviedrome arena whilst supping a few of the free Cobra Beer's that were being chilled and given out as further inducement to turn up.

The sketch that was a revere remake of part of Bruce Lee's film the Game of Death, was a contender for best short film, as was an almost silent film about a fish not called Wanda trying to escape in a very much Nemo fashion whilst the owner gave mouth to mouth resuscitation to his suicidal wife.

But hands and feet above the rest was a comical semi-true-life video diary of a couple of guys in a mini trying to drive to Mongolia and the mishap that befall them, including the several ditches and the vodka swilling mechanics who could sing and dance but not fix vehicles.

Also on offer was a bizarre Spanish teen romance slasher comedy type thing, a couple of ones about London's stone men statues, a tattoo removal kit and a few more than don't even stick in the mind even this soon after the fact.

On our way home, we stop off at Victoria station, after scaring the late night commuters with our brothers-in-law-drunken-arty-bollocks style of rambling conversation and the occasional sub-game of "spot the hooker or is she just desperate for a shag tonight".

Sadly, or perhaps not, today we had no takers and almost all of the women were wearing clothing that was suitable for the weather outside and not even the slightest glimpse of any fish-net stocks and mini skirt wearing tarts with more jewellery, make up and perfume than 5 normal women could possible wear at one time.

At Victoria we managed to order a couple of burgers from the delightful Russian beauty behind the bar, but I failed to get her attention long enough to even read her name tag let alone obtain a smile or laugh from her.

What I did manage to do was pass on my credit card details to a friend who was then booking up our group holiday to Rome, and not to mention hear a slightly panicked mother on my voicemail who was hoping that I was going on holiday to anywhere except Colombia.

I have to wonder about myself when I think back and know that my loving mother would honestly prefer me to get drunk and laze on a beach ogling the local girls than travelling to the places where I chose to visit on my time off !?!

Having parted with my bro-in-law at Victoria I then have long train journey home where a couple of university professors debate the highbrow and deep intellectual issues such as "if money is removed would not bartering take its place also identically".

Names such as Aristotle, Karl Marx, Hitler to name but three cropped up, but once they started on about Buddhism then I knew that I was too drunk to remain quiet any longer and calmly stood up and walked down the carriage away from them both.

Coming back home I then had the wonders of finishing off the last of my very own creation ... ginger biscuit cheesecake ( a damn good combo if I may say so myself ), taking out the garbage, explaining to a Brazilian friend that, 'No I don't speak any Portuguese' and 'No Spanish isn't the same at all" before reading a few joke emails and remembering the true story ( apparently ) that today George Bush had his $20K watch stolen while shaking hands with the Albanian President !!!

After that it was just a refresher msn conversation with my friend in Colombia, a bit of idle web browsing and signing off and completing my remortgage papers before bed. All in all a very full, varied and totally unique day to be honest.

Day's like today don't happen to many people. and having lived through this one today, that probably isn't a bad thing.

A Week Til D-Day

Yes, that's right ... in under seven days I will managed a feat that few travellers have successfully accomplished, or anyone else for that matter.

On Saturday 16th June 2007 { for the time being let us ignore the Indian Sub-Continent and the frozen wasteland of Antarctica } I will have successfully visited, and have laid my feet on good old Terraferma, of all six of the planets continental land masses.

Europe, Asia, Australasia, Africa, North American and South America will all have fallen to my passion for travelling - although admittedly they did give me a good run for my money and a few times I didn't think I would make it as unscathed as I have.

What makes my effort newsworthy is that I have accomplished them all without the financial backing of anyone else, with no media coverage and I would have made these trips solo.

In just over a weeks time, I can say that on my own I have walked the streets, fields and paths right across the globe by day and by night.

And what could make this accomplishment even more amazing, well ... how about adding the fact that I do not possess any firearm or knife!, or how about that neither do I own a full drivers or cycle licence!!, or that I have managed to do all this on a single income and still hold down a full London job.

Yes, that's right. Despite the mass news and media coverage detailing how very scary and dangerous it is to leave your house, or that every other country is full of murderers, guerrilla soldiers and corrupt politicians who are just itching to do you in, I have walked unarmed and {mostly} molested and lived to tell the tale.

Never again will I believe the hype and hysteria of headlines preceded with words like "have you heard the latest news, its just terrible".

I am living proof that if you heart is good, your mood jovial and approachable and you do not go looking for trouble, that the world should not be a place of fear and horror stories.

This world is not such a bad old place as they would have you believe, which is why I feel it is such a bloody crying shame that most of the Politicians, War-Mongerers and Industialists are so eager to destroy it.

However you look at it, what I have accomplished { or will have done in just a few days time } is worthy of some level of recognition and merit, whoever you are and whatever you have done.

New Wonders of The World

We all know that there were 7 ancient wonders of the world.

 

Well, through war, natural disaster and the collapse of a few empires there is only one left ... the Great Pyramid of Giza.

 

So some boffins have decided to have a go at selecting a few for consideration of the next set of 7 wonders of the world.

 

When you get time please go on, log on ( its free ) and vote for your chosen 7.

 

Here is the link to go there :- http://www.new7wonders.com/

 

For those who wanted to know what I chose ( but please chose your own, I am in no way a leading authority on these things ), my choice was ...

 

Angkor Wat (Cambodia), Chichen Itza (Mexico), Easter Island (Island off coast of Chile), Great Wall (China), Manchu Pichu (Peru), Stonehenge (England) and Timbuktu (Mali).

 

And anyone who knows me well can already guess that, having already been to China, living in UK, and off to visit Peru later this year, why and that given enough time and money I will delight in taking a few pilgrimages to see the magnificent vistas for myself.

 

Take care and peace to all