Honesty

To lie or not to lie, that is the question?!?

There is perhaps no greater ultimate truth than the statement :-"what women say they want and what they actually like are in fact polar opposites".

Now of course, no one except me knows the full story of my sexual history, background and past relationships, along with all its relevant successes and failures, though admittedly a chosen few would come closer than most. This has been a calculated act on my part, to try and avoid too much negative attention or awkward questions, but I never really considered the full implications of deliberately misleading people into having the wrong, or perhaps the right, idea about my sexual orientations.

So it is hard for me to understate how much of a blind-sided shock to the system it was when I say that during a recent conversation with a female (who will remain nameless) she admitted that one of the main reasons why she never considered me to be of relationship material, was because I am far too straight laced and prudish to be fanciable.

Now my friend, and lodger, Leigh is always and often chastising me about sounding all cutesy and poncey on the phone when talking with women, and likewise other friends have been puzzled by my lack of forwardness with the opposite success given my past and noticeable advantage over most other guys ( no prizes for guessing what and no, I'm not a typical bloke and lying or boasting ... just ask any of my ex's, lol).

But to know that a girl whom I find devastatingly attractive, funny, clever, witty and generally hotter than a smoking fox on a roasting barbecue, has admitted that the main reason why we never became an item was because I'm just not kinky enough for her, was enough to seriously make me reconsider my approach of the last dozen years or so.

If a guy with my track record can come off as prudish and lacking in sexual desire / passion then either the world is completely and totally F.U.B.A.R, or I am, and as she wasn't the first person to mention this, I have to begin questioning my logic on whether I've been right in hiding my past as much as I do!

Perhaps one of the reasons why I'm single is actually because I'm doing it to myself .. like a woman who stays with an abusive and disrespectful partner yet wonders why he keeps hitting her, when all logic and reason scream out to her to run to the hills, or better yet castrate the b*st*rd AND THEN run to the hills.

Now I'm not suggesting (or admitting) that I'm a hormonally unbalanced nympho who has to have sex four to five times a day or else begin to seriously considering r*peing the next female that crosses my path ... but ... I am 100% certain of what I am, what I've done and what I'm still capable of, so the fact that a women I am very much interested in could view me as a nerd with a negative sexual desire is too far from the mark for me to be happy or content to let continue in the old carry-on-regardless spirit of things.

Now what precisely it is that I propose to do about this I am not quite sure, as there hasn't been that many openings recently to finally start my long overdue career as a male p*rn star, but something has to give, and first off I think it shall be my apparent sickeningly cute telephone voice. and after that, well who knows, but one things for sure ... hang on world, look who's coming (and yes, that pun was fully intended, however bad it may be !).