Hoopy Frood

Douglas Adams once wrote that you could tell if someone was a Frood if 'he knew where his towel was kept'.

 

Now, of course, for anyone not familiar with arguably his masterpiece, 'The Hitchhikers Guide' then that won't make any sense whatsoever, and sadly I'm in too much of a rush to explain it all properly here, so I'll just say that it isn't just a load of gibberish and let it stand there, for the time being at least.

 

Furthermore let me just add that we are currently in an age where almost everything is either electric, gas or battery powered, coming on at the touch of a button, and soon smoking will become almost a crime anywhere except in your own home.

 

Now that last statement might seem both obvious and irrelevant but it does go some way to explaining why fewer and fewer people these days will have access to matches.

 

So if I tell you that the other night I won several social gold stars from my lodger and his friends the other night, when within two minutes of the entire street being plunged into darkness through a power cut, I had managed to locate the matches and two dozen tea-light candles and had created a perfectly ambient light and atmosphere in the front room by which to talk.

 

This act itself was topped off as we had only just finished making a round of tea for everyone, so while the rest of the street around us was milling around in a darkened frustrated semi-panic, we were just sitting and chilling in my best room with drinks, able to see just fine and without even the tiniest moment of discomfort or chaos.

 

Thus, not trying to outdo DA, but along the same wave patterns ( imitation with recognition, I have heard, is the highest form of flattery ), I now put forward that also a Hoopy Frood is ALSO a guy 'who knows where his tea-lights are kept'.

 

...

 

And in the spirit of mutual sexual empowerment for both genders, perhaps it should be that a Hoopy Frood is a person who knows where their tea-lights are kept, only I kind of get the feeling that it was meant to only apply to men when it was first laid down, so ... who knows!?!