Despite a very long absence I have decided to come back to my first blog world persona and, with minor modifications, pick up where I left off.
Anonymity, it's a tricky thing. I want feedback, honest I do, but like most people I don't like too much negative feedback. So I tried a blog that no one knew was me, but I just couldn't get into it as much, knowing that not only was I hiding but I still had to keep in contact with all my friends through other mediums and hated repeating myself, even in word.
I think the trick with requesting and giving feedback is to still try and be both objective and constructive wherever possible, and also as my mum always tells me, if you can't say anything good then best not to say anything at all.
I stopped my blog for all the wrong reasons, so I am back to make amens, not to anyone else, but for myself and I will now write what I want, when I want and as often or infrequent as I chose and not for anyone else.
Firstly I have to say that just like Clerks 2 wanted to take back the phrase "porch monkey", I want to take back my real name.
Dickon ... it's short for Richard, it means leader of men, it's quite an uncommon name and it is the one that I was born with and is recorded on my birth certificate.
2007 was a fairly duff year for most people, it started off not too good, had more downs than ups and ended up with more of a fizzle than a bang, so I am determined to make 2008 my year.
Secondly, I have a feeling that in my youth I created a few too many self fulfilling prophecies that are coming back to haunt me.
{ a S.F.P. - When someone makes a prediction of a future event and then through their words & actions / in-actions causes that very event to happen.
Example, someone says "I am scared that I will get run over while crossing a road" - and the person is so scared that they always run with their eyes closed when crossing roads until one day they run out and trip over something they didn't see and are then run over.
Arguably, yes they may have been run over one day anyway, but by worrying about it and then by acting irrationally they greatly increased the chances of the event happening! }
As a child I watched far too many movies / tv series and read too many books where the lead was a hero destined to have no lasting love interest and wander the earth righting wrongs.
Why did I do this ... if you knew my childhood you would realise that I was definitely lacking a good male model in the home, so I had to look elsewhere.
The Highwayman, Airwolf, Knight Rider, Midnight Caller, Die Hard, Kung Fu, Indiana Jones, Sherlock Holmes, Dirk Pitt, Mike Callahan, The Stainless Steel Rat, Hope Hubris, etc, etc, and so on and so forth.
All great men, clever, with good friends, trusted, respected, honoured, well travelled, loved by many yet married to none.
I spent so much time watching them, acting like them, thinking like them, wanting to be them, that I failed to notice their flaws and the obvious drawbacks to a lonely life.
As I grew up, I promised myself that I would travel the world and do many of the amazing things that I read about, so much so that I feel that my life is constantly on hold until I have and then my real life can begin once more.
And now, I have to get this all out my system before I can leave my childhood behind me and move on to becoming a more mature and all rounded human being.
So I am selling all my worldly possessions, going to travel the world for a year ( or as long as it takes / as long as my money holds out ) to find the real me and then wherever I rest my head the most favourably I will settle down, free from the trappings of my past and able to find a job I like that makes me feel a man.
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