Image Vs Reality

In the past someone called me a psycho, the definition of which is someone that has a warped view or grasp on reality.

Having discussed the matter with a few friends, it does indeed appear that I have a very different take on reality than that of most people, and while it might make me interesting to talk at times it can be a handicap.

During these discussions however, I also realised that I am not alone in this pyschosis and one of the reasons is that people lie, both to one another and to themselves. The problem is, that if you have incorrect information ( i.e. you are believing and acting up on a lie ) then you cannot make a sensible and balanced decision and this results in your view of reality being different to other peoples.

A good personal example of this, is with my previous and fairly disasterous attempts to date women overseas who I met online.

Ignoring the fakers and scammers that I came in contact with, a frequent occurrence would be that I would meet a woman online and after corresponding for a few months we would agree to meet up. And of course with me being the "rich" ( even though I never claim to be rich ) one of the two of us, I would fly out and meet them and spend some time with them before returning home.

The problem would be that they would often have a 'fairy tale' image in their mind of what it would be like to date a rich and famous travelling foreigner, they see me as this and it is this unrealistic ideal that they continue to base their decisions upon.

However, when I arrive and we start to do the same normal and everyday things that they would do if they were dating a local man, then the routine reality of life shatters this illusion and the relationship falls apart.

Another problem was that they loved the idea of being in contact with a rich guy from overseas, and get all enthusiastic about it, but at the same time they feel very safe and brave believing that I would never actually keep my promise to travel and meet them, thus they get caught up in their own imagination and make all sorts of outrageous promises.

Then, when I actually do fly out and try to meet them, the 'long distance' safety barrier of living in a different country is suddenly stripped away from them and they are confronted by a person who wants to do the things that had been discussed but they don't have the confidence to go through with them.

So as they are unready or unwilling to do keep their promises, they have to adjust their reality in order to regain some control. Sometimes they ask that we take things slowly or that we try to just be friends for awhile so that we can get to know each other, as before they were never actually trying to get to know the real me, preferring instead to enjoy the illusion and make believe world they had created for themselves.

Of course, the big problem with this is that once they then start being more honest with both me and themselves, we soon find out that we actually have very different views, likes, hobbies and interests from each other and are not such a good match after all.

So, the fact that this or something very similar pretty much describes almost every long distance relationship I have had, go to show that it is not just me that has a distorted view of reality and why from now on I have given up on looking for love or romance overseas, as people are just not honest enough ... not with me or with themselves.